A Debt Story (Part One)
I WILL NEVER ARGUE with a person who says, “I need more money.” I’ve been there. I’ve maxed out credit cards, taken out a home equity line of credit, and delayed paying taxes. The gravity of these actions snuck up on me. Money was tight and, individually, each choice seemed inescapable. When I didn’t have what I needed, I’d borrow money to bridge the gap between now and later.
People have vastly different ideas about debt. I’ve heard, “I’m not sweating it. Debt will always be there. I’ll always have debt, so I’m just going to live my life.” As a long-time listener to Dave Ramsey and his cadre of experts, I’ve heard the opposite viewpoint too: “The borrower is slave to the lender. Get ‘gazelle intense!’ Sell everything so fast the kids think they’re next!” I’ve also heard people say, “Credit cards are convenient. I keep my balances low, so it’s really not an issue.”
I paid off the last of my debt in February 2018 and never looked back. Being debt-free for five years (no credit cards, loans, or borrowing in general) has taught me a lot about my own thinking, my expectations, and my ideas about how life works. It’s changed the way I make decisions. I still have “unexpected expenses” at times, but staying out of debt is one of my non-negotiables, so I navigate these moments carefully. Everything slows down and step by step, I make my way through. I’m constantly coaching myself and talking to myself. I’m navigating and correcting course. Sometimes, it’s easy. Other times, it’s awkward and uncomfortable. It’s an adjustment, not only financially, but in terms of how I see myself and my life.
Here’s what fascinates me: debt is held in place by a series of assumptions and agreements. Debt melts away once we shift the conversations we’re having with ourselves and others. Debt is about timing and decision-making. What does it mean to “owe” someone? How does this dynamic show up in other areas of our lives, beyond money and finances? How does “owing” come into being? In order for debt to exist, we have to make sense of our circumstances and options in a certain way. The existence of “debt” indicates that we’ve entered into shared agreements about time, necessity, and access.
Do you have ideas about debt? What are you feeling and experiencing? Write to me and let me know. Next time, we’ll take a look at how debt is “born,” and explore some of the tangible and intangible elements of eliminating debt.
Did you know I offer one-on-one coaching? I work with people who want to feel ease with money: how they make it, use it, think about it, and feel about it. Book a call to find out more.
